To Stay Or Not To Stay

Do you believe in the saying “history repeats by itself” The first time I encounter this line was on my first year in high school, in my History subject. And the last time I heard it was more or less a year ago. When I caught myself in the middle of the relationship that they say is “once in a blue moon”

Honestly, at first I have no feelings for him, he looks like a nerd, patron of the library and personal computers. I even came to my mind that he was a psychedelic guy who wants to kill me. But that first impression turned into something we all call “love” the kind of feeling that I won’t forget for the rest of my life. I was in cloud nine when were together. There was no single minute that I never thought of him. He’s the most affectionate guy in the whole mankind. More or less the relationship was perfect, but unfortunately it doesn’t last for a long time. I could say it’s my fault, because I once thought of breaking up with him, because I was deceived by a love I thought was real.

A third party, I could still remember he was helping me cope up with my math problems, take note, he taught me in the phone after a while he heard the feedback of my cell phone. That means I was talking to someone else at the same time, but it’s just through text. I told him it was a friend, the third party, to be exact. And hat pissed him off; he said ill jus continue talking to him… and then bragged the phone. He knows that there was something wrong. Two programs are running in my system. And that started him, from cloud nine to hell. He relationship becomes a total mess, every phone conversations end up with me crying, and then I woke up with a man so different from the one I loved before.

I would say I took part in changing him, but just a little part of it. From a very open person to a to the most insensitive person you’ll ever know. But he depends its just a change, that’s very constant to everyone “people change for better and not for worst” I came to think if only there’s no such a thing as change, and isn’t it so unfair to be in a relationship where you’ll just be called lover when you’re together. And if not, you’re just you. And to think how one sided it is when you love someone you think about him every now and then, whenever he’s tired you wanna give him a relaxing massage, whenever he’s sick you wanna comfort him, but hen is just you who thinks this way, there’s no feedback, no reciprocation a all. And how am I so affected with this kind of relationship, but I guess I jus have o look a I as a sacrifice. The one we call unconditional love.

And now, more or less, a year after, for he second time around I saw myself in he same stuff as before, he only difference is the person itself, but he rest are just the same. And as the title goes “to stay or not to stay” will I give up he second time around? Or keep the fire of helping him sill burning, but how would you help a person who’s no anymore open.

Bu I find m guy aware of he scenario, he even ask for m help, and how m hear melts when he said “thank you for opening my mind”

That’s really a nice one.

Its very nice to know and gives me the encouragement to help him up. its nice to know that he still thinks I exist. And how I was given a noble compliment for him to be able to entrust his feelings and dilemmas, and to reach my hand that was forever laid and ready to help